Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Chicken with the Dragon Tattoo

Chickens should not be allowed anywhere near computers.  They are hackers!  Who knew?  The Bombshells must be hiding an iPad somewhere in their run and tapping into my wireless system.  Is tapping even the right word?  It's pathetic that my chickens are more computer savvy than I am.  I think I now recognize Sophia's uncanny resemblance to Lisbeth Salander.  Those eyes...brrrr.

This post was going to be titled Eggs-Stravagant Layers. One of my worst ideas. I can only surmise the Bombshells hacked my system, read about the Oregon and SoCal hens who aren't laying during these cold dark winter months and immediately decided to follow suit here in Nevada.  Because I was getting close to an egg a day from each girl until I started bragging, er, drafting this post.  You know how many eggs I've gotten in the past two days?  Nada.  I'd gotten used to having eggs magically appear. I was spoiled.  I realize that now.

"What am I doing right? I wish I knew."   
That's what I was stupid enough to type in my original post.  I went on to wonder about why they were laying with only ten hours of light each day.  I wondered if their devotion to laying last winter might be due to their youth and vigor. Maybe, like many females, the Bombshells didn't like me mentioning their age  (I should have known better.)  They're almost two--I wonder how old that is in chicken years?

I think my biggest mistake was the following paragraph:
"My best guess why we're getting winter eggs?  I'm lucky to have a breed that channels all their energy into eggs. They are skinny females and all of them together wouldn't fill a soup pot, so they must be converting all that chicken chow right into lovely brown eggs.  They were supposed to be Buff Orpingtons but turned out to be something like Red Comets. I'm not complaining. They may not have the Orpington good looks, but looks ain't everything!"
I can see how I might have accidentally hurt their feelings. 
Actually I think I'm lucky that after reading that they didn't decide to lure me into their run and attack me like the little raptors they are.

Dear Carole-Amelia, Rita and Sophia,  

My sincerest apologies.  You are young and gorgeous.  You lay the best eggs in the whole world.  No one has ever loved their chickens more.  What can I do to make it up to you?
Fresh organic veggies and leafy greens?  Perrier water?  More free range time daily?  Sunnier dust baths?  Heated nests? Swedish massages given by roosters?
Name your price.  You have me at your mercy.  
Humbly yours,

The former Number One in the Pecking Order
Any and all suggestions are welcome from the Blogosphere.

Party Girl: Romantic Home's Show and Tell Friday
and Met Monday at BNOTP


  1. Well, my chickens laid more or less through the winters the first 2 years I had them, but as they got older they had more down time in the winter months -- at first just a week or 2 of totally down time in late Dec, early Jan -- but the past two winters they pretty much stop in early November and don't pick up until mid February. They are 6 years old, and even their summer laying was skimpier this past summer than past years. I wonder if they will lay at all this summer. Not sure what I should do, here in a conventional subdivision, with geriatric non-productive chickens -- I do love them, but I really want eggs.

    Isn't there a children's book about barnyard animals that get hold of a typewriter and take over the farm? Cluck Cluck Clack Clack or something like that.

    1. "Click Clack Moo" was the first in the series and I just love Farmer Brown's animals!

  2. Are they broody?
    Ours go through broody periods every six weeks or so, all through the year.
    Funny we both had chicken posts this week!

    1. Rose, I love your blog--and my girls have started (sort of) to lay again (kinda)--which deserves a post of its own.

  3. :) This post made me laugh and brought back fond memories of my pre-teen and teen years growing up with lots of chickens. My father installed one of those lights that come on at sun down and off at sunrise. It was just a few feet from the chicken coop. Those poor birds would nest for 30 mins and be out all night. Even the rooster would crow all night long. Then, go back in and nest once the light went off and be back out 30 mins later. They stopped laying eggs, started dying 1 by 1 and we couldn't understand why. After looking back years later, I often wondered if it was lack of sleep. It still makes me giggle just thinking about it.
    Thanks for your comment on my post. I really appreciated it!

    1. My pleasure. You made me laugh in return!

  4. It's summer here and our chooks have gone on strike, but hopefully a new bag of chook feed will fix this problem!

  5. Oh, you definitely hurt their little feelings, ( although, just between me and you, buffs are the true beauties of the chicken world) I think they may forgive you with the fine letter, but you best add a few crunched up animal cookies to their mash, just to be on the safe side. You will have eggs in no time!

    1. I'll try the animal cookies immediately, Jeri! Why didn't I think of that?