Thundering Voice (reminiscent of the Wizard of Oz only coming from above): What were you thinking!
Me (meekly): I just wanted Spring Break.
Thundering Voice: Did I not give you nine whole days with no schedules or alarm clocks?
Me (whining): Well, yeah, but I wanted to go South.
Thundering Voice: South! Did I not give you the warmest, most perfect Spring weather that Reno has ever had.
Me: Yeah, I guess.
Thundering Voice (growing ominous): You guess! Did the temperatures not break records? Did you not frolic in your garden. Did I not cause the flowers to bloom especially for your happiness?
Me: Well, yeah.
Thundering Voice: I showed you friends who also stayed home during Spring Break and were joyful. Did you follow their example? Did you not take the hint from Jenn's email about Berkshire weather?
Me: (silent)
Thundering Voice: No! Still I heard whining and petty complaints. Perhaps I did not give you enough. I shall give you more and see if you appreciate what you have. (Quiet Cosmic Sigh.)
The person playing me will now begin to feel her sinuses grow heavy. Her energy levels will drop. Soon in Act II we will see her take to her bed with excruciating headaches that no amount of medicines will alleviate. Before Act II ends she will begin to wheeze and breathing will hurt.
Most of Act III will take place with our protagonist flat on her back, thinking of how nice the weather is and how her garden is calling her to finish pruning the fruit trees. She will wish she had appreciated sunny skies and happy friends and bright flowers. She will sadly think of her nasty disposition and know she deserves her chastisement. She will regret wasting the beginning of her vacation as she watches the last four days of it disappear forever.
***
The Thundering Voice got my attention--I can be a little dense about my blessings sometimes. I take back every negative thought and pout. I will be a good girl. I will be happy about finally returning to work; I will be grateful for a husband who brought me lots of fluids to drink; I will accept the good things in my life and not think I deserve so much more.
(And in the future if I am not content, I will be discontent quietly and with grace.)
I learned my lesson.
Your post is too funny, especially coming off spring break, myself. It's true...we always want more, even when we have it so good. Glad to hear that Reno has sunny and warm spring weather!
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